Pretend Christmas

Yesterday was "Pretend Christmas" at our house. Real Christmas was staged at a Disney World hotel (pictured), and so we still had all our gift unwrapping to look forward to upon our return to Seattle. Our first day back was recuperative, and day two was to be last-minute Christmas shopping... except that Little One decided to puke in the middle of Macy's. So Pretend Christmas came around to our house with a mild flu. Saturday morning, we arose to Jay in the kitchen (hurrah!) and a big Southern breakfast (three cheers!) followed by family gift giving. Harper was so overwhelmed with her generous assortment of new playthings, particularly a doll set from her Mimi, she was heard to exclaim: "I thank the Lord our God for these toys!" Jay managed the video camera and simultaneously unwrapped the customary socks and DVDs, plus the leather coat purchased from Macy's (immediately prior to the vomit episode). He and Harper also received matching remote control helicopters from his folks - much enjoyed by all including the dog, who would really like to get her paws on those things. I was not overlooked either: Williams and Sonoma hot chocolate paraphernalia from the in-laws, French perfume from the hubby, a Message/NASB Bible from Mom. It really did feel like Christmas. We lounged the day away, nursed Harper's fever (holiday sickness is traditional for the Kirks) and I caught a late night movie. Balanced my checkbook, too. It's nice to end the year with relaxation, shiny new stuff, and fiscal order! Amen, and Happy New Year!

My Turn!

Favorite Christmas Songs
(Note: changes every year!)
1. "Please Come Home For Christmas" The Eagles
2. "Jesus, What a Wonderful Child" John Legend
3. "Linus and Lucy" Vince Guaraldi
4. "Mary, Did You Know?"
5. "Celebrate Me Home" Kenny Loggins

P.S. New Year's Song:
"Seasons of Love" from Rent soundtrack

Favorite Christmas Movies/TV
1. "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
Fond memories with Dad, Mom, and Curtis.
2. "Christmas Vacation"
Lovin' Cousin Eddie's dickie, and Aunt Bethany's prayer!
3. "Love Actually"
A collection of interwoven vignettes. Tearjerking and funny. Love, love, love it.
4. "The Grinch"
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk... CLASSIC.
5. "It's a Wonderful Life"
Unparalleled in mood and message.

Favorite Christmas Foods
1. Festive homemade iced sugar cookies
2. Gramma Crabb's tea cookies
3. Southern dressing with gravy and a side of turkey and sweet tea... Ah!!
4. "Jo-Jo's" and milk (Oreo type cookies with bits of peppermint in the filling, sold annually at Trader Joe's, my favorite grocery store)
5. Minted hot chocolate

Tantrum 101

I have two college degrees, more than 12 years teaching experience, a decent IQ, and a lot of self confidence, most of the time... but nothing, NOTHING, prepares you to deal with 6-year-old temper tantrums. Today, I tried to ride the tide. Last time the temper tempest kicked in, I promised myself I would never again try to physically restrain her or heap punishment after punishment for each ingredient of the tantrum, but GET HER TO HER ROOM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE until she had morphed back into Dr. Jeckyl. Today, however, the carpet cleaning lady was upstairs. So we were stuck. I tried to turn the living room chair into time out headquarters. Then, I made the mistake of telling her she could not get up from the chair until I said OK - on the penalty of a spanking. Two minutes later, she looked me in the eye and got up. Uh-oh. Now I was committed to a spanking. I took her by the hand and headed back to the chair, explaining the impending consequence. When she realized I was serious about the spanking, she fought back within an inch of her life, I let go, and she careened into the TV stand. Reminder: No physical restraints, EVER! So, we tried time out in the bathroom. Didn't stick. Time out in Daddy's study. Better. Screaming, stomping, screaming, stomping. When she was calm, we sat together on the couch and I outlined the consequences of her behavior (no Bee Movie, no TV, one week). Then she disappeared into the kitchen. This was the first moment of silence in 45 minutes. She was making me a card. This is what it said (do your best with the spelling):

I am sorry. My hort is rilly hord.
It is very supre coild and gray in our backyard.
I hope you frgive me for all the bad things I've dun.
How much love did I have
The ancr is nun.
I love you. Love, Harper. To mom.

Like I said, NOTHING prepares you for days like this.

When October Goes

It always makes me sad when October slips by. It's my favorite month of the year, and the only consolation in its passing is that December is my 2nd favorite and November my 3rd favorite. I love the fall. Everything about it. And... now this is a big secret, so don't tell anyone... I really love the fall in Seattle.

I used to think East Coast autumns were the ideal, and those crisp blue-sky red-leaf days when you can open the windows rather than crank the AC or the heater are still at the top of my list. But Seattle's seasonal gray has grown on me. The leaves are still beautiful, and since there are more and taller evergreens, the background of green to the orange, brown, red and fire yellow foilage is spectacular. In the PNW, you get a shade of gold that is brighter and denser than anything I've ever seen further east or south... especially on those wonderful fall Sundays when we take the annual drive to Leavenworth, Washington. Leavenworth, situated in the mountains about two hours from Seattle, is a faux Bavarian town with all the German trappings you could ever hope for in this Octoberfest month. This year, we made the trip in September instead, with Jay's folks Jim and Linda in tow. But back to October.

We get a lot of rain in the fall out here, and gray skies blanket the month. I've grown to like it, actually. It finally pushed me over the edge of my coffee phobia. I have graduated into a Starbucks regular. It started when we first moved here and Jay would foist one extra-sweet, high-fat latte upon me each holiday season. About two years ago, I realized I looked forward to my annual hazelnut breve. Then I got sucked into the eggnog latte. And then the pumkin spice. Last year, when the holidays were over and the eggnog gone, I could not let go of my new cold-weather friend, so I switched to the sugar-free cinnamon dolce latte. Yesterday, I practically danced through the gray, crisp-leafed afternoon with my delightful cup of sugar-free gingerbread java. So far, I can't abide coffee sans milk, but maybe that's on the way too. In another 10 years perhaps.

October is also Halloween, which is not my favorite holiday by any stretch, but I can't help the nostalgic reaction to its sights and smells. I love to see kids dressed in costumed flitting about a moonlit street in small packs. Last week at church, I had to fetch some supplies from a cabinet and got a whiff of candy -- just a plain old bucket of random wrapped candy -- and the aroma just threw me back to childhood. October smells like fresh innocence. Its flavor is reassuring, cozy pumpkin spice. It's an explosion of my favorite colors: green and blue with splashes of fire and comfort. And as it turns out, I love it even with a background of gray.

My Ten Things

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Teaching school in SC and planning on moving to Denver where I could heal my broken heart... Jay and I had split earlier in the month.

2. What were you doing one year ago?
Teaching one class at Seattle Christian, tutoring, driving Harper to kindergarten, avoiding housework.

3. What are five snacks you enjoy?
cookies and milk, tortillas 'n' cheese dip, ice cream, Cheetos, hummus on almost anything

4. What are five songs that you know the lyrics to?
Solsbury Hill/Peter Gabriel, One Angry Dwarf/Ben Folds, Git Back Honkey Cat/Elton John, Rich Girl/Hall & Oates, Copa Cabana/Barry Manilow

5. Name five things you would do if you were a millionaire.
vacation to England/Scotland, vacation to Greece/Italy, new house on East coast, sponsor a missionary school, hire a maid and personal trainer

6. Name five bad habits.
not throwing away your own trash, making mouth noises, avoiding dish-washing, not putting away clothes, complaining as soon as you wake up in the morning

7. What are five things you like to do?
reading at coffee shop, take very hot baths in dim lighting, stay up late watching TV by myself, going to movies, having frozen drink nights with the hubby

8. What are your five favourite toys?
digital SLR camera, label maker..... Hmmm, I guess I really don't like toys much

9. What are five things you would never wear?
fuzzy top hat from the fair, dog collar, sequin mini skirt, orange convict jumpsuit, diving gear

10. Name five things you hate to do.
raking leaves, extensive mathematical computations, filing, anything to do with Ebay, playing volleyball

After-School Comments

Monday: "Spencer told me he knows how to hypnotize. He's going to bring me instructions tomorrow."

Tuesday: "Katie gave me her phone number and told me to call her as soon as I get home." (and thus it begins...)

Wednesday: "Dad says Spencer is pulling my leg. So I told him that I have a time machine and I traveled back to yesterday."

Thursday: "I need to make my homework look good. Mrs. Matthews is a big look-gooder. She's also a big recycler. It's good for the goverment."

Friday: "How do you build a time machine? I need to make one by Monday."

Hall and the Other Guy

Courtesy of Jay's cell phone at concert.

A 9th and a 1st

Last night was our anniversary. My husband of nine years and I celebrated over dinner and gifts along with our daughter of six years. Today was also Harper's first day of first grade, and she was far more excited about our anniversary than going to school. She presented each of us with gifts: I received a handmade book about her favorite flavors of ice cream along with a drawing of "mommy and daddy sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g." Her father received a Chicken Jet.

James, true to tradition in every way, marked year nine with pottery. Thus, I received a large pasta bowl in our wedding registry pattern, plus matching smaller bowls and a promise of new glassware to come. I gave him a cloth hardback Wodehouse anthology. I cannot imagine being in love with a man who doesn't love Wodehouse. Nor can I imagine being married to anyone besides the dear old chap who inspired the Chicken Jet.

Taste and See

I like to sit around and think about stuff. Poke around on the Internet and figure stuff out. But I realize that, mostly, I just like to be right. Reasoning leads to a nice neat pattern, and patterns are easy to live in. Just like I prefer to sleep in a tightly made bed, with lots of perfect right angles.

It occurs to me, however, that God is not much interested in all that. The Apostle Paul, who knew a great deal more about God than anyone alive today, said he saw "through a glass darkly." And, lest we forget it, "even the demons believe." So me having things figured out might not be all that important after all. I think the best moments of knowing God -- "being a Christian" -- have very little to do with creed. Certainly, we need to study the Word if we expect to recognize God's voice when it comes a-whispering. But the Still Small Voice doesn't usually speak in syllogisms or theorems. He speaks in gut-level conviction, hate-melting love, and poetry-breathing beauty.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good." You know, tasting has not a whit to do with logic. It's purely sensual. Requires savoring. Stillness. Sometimes, I really just need to shut up.

Celebrities in Seattle

Two celebrity figures managed to significantly impact my day yesterday. The first was George W. Bush, whose arrival and departure from Seattle caused every airport-connecting thoroughfare in the city to be closed down. Since I live five minutes from the airport, that means my house was effectively blocked by police at every angle. At first, I didn't know what was going on... traffic had slowed to a crawl and orange cones were springing up everywhere. "What the heck!" I thought to myself, "is the president in town?!" The answer happened to be yes. It took me two hours to make it home.

The second celebrity was Daryl Hall. He appeared in concert along with the other half of his duo, but in truth I really don't pay much attention to John. Apparently, he is quite used to second billing and probably takes home his million without complaint. On stage, Oates played his guitar and dutifully sang second fiddle behind a single monitor. A few feet over, the blond-locked heartthrob Hall stood behind four audio monitors, a video monitor, and two wind blowers... which added to his carefully crafted sex appeal by whipping said blond locks in a super-cool, rock-n-roll fashion about his crooning face. I was sucked right in. I jumped and clapped and swooned like a schoolgirl. I swear it was just the music... they are indeed my favorite band of all time.

The leader of the free world and the most successful rock duo of all time. August 27th, 2007. Oh, and we also had our septic tank pumped that morning. What a day.

Curtis and Karla Make It Official

The news is in... my brother Curtis has finally proposed to girlfriend Karla, and judging by the ring on her finger I assume she said yes! The Crabb clan (and Kirk contingent) are raising glasses in their honor today from Ohio to Colorado to Washington... and hopefully in Tennessee, too, where Karla's folks are from.

TOP TEN REASONS TO CELEBRATE:

10. Continued "K" alliteration in the family... Karla Crabb plus Curtis Crabb

9. Cousins for Harper!

8. She brings yet more good looks into the Crabb gene pool, if that's possible (number 8 dedicated to Uncle Larry)

7. Mom and I can finally start planning the rehearsal dinner, which has been in unofficial development since we first met Karla just over a year ago

6. A woman's touch in the bachelor pad

5. He's definitely not gay!!

4. He is so overwhelmed with happiness that he won't even be mad at the gay joke

3. A new recipient for crab themed gifts!

2. Our mother can finally relax

1. I've run out of ideas... please leave your number one reason as a comment!

Ah, Harry

Anyone who knows me knows I love the Harry Potter books. When the latest came out, I carefully guarded my reading scenarios so this final experience could be savored. I tried not to read in hungry snatches throughout the day but in consciously selected settings, like the local coffee shop with a fireplace and easy chair (and cinnamon latte) or propped up in bed with lamplight (and hot tea). I finally finished it a week ago at 1:15 AM.

To be submerged in Harry's world is pure delight, and I am truly sad that it's all over... yes, I can always pick up one of the books and re-read, but the first time with its unrepeatable surprises and delights just can't be resurrected. The movies help, because they hit the mood and imagery of the books dead on, and thankfully there are two more new ones to come!

Now that I'm finished with Book 7, I've been free to unclog my ears to potential spoilers and surf around for a little Harry commentary, trying to keep the mood alive for a little while longer! I discovered this one earlier this morning, from Christianity Today. Despite all the controvery surrounding the books in Christian circles, there are still many of us who see Biblical symbolism and imagery worth talking about. Book 7 comes complete with profound sacrificial love and Bible verse allusions. For my Christian friends who are also Potter fans, you won't want to miss it: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/augustweb-only/131-43.0.html

Naming a Blog

Having decided right off the bat that "My Blog" would not suffice as a title, I began scouring my brain for brilliant alternatives. My first thought was "On the Bandwagon Again," since I am trying this blog thing for the second time -- I fell off without a whimper some three years ago. But that still sounded too bland, even when I toyed with the variation "On the Funky Bandwagon Again, Y'all."

Luckily, my magnetic poetry kit was within reach, so I closed my eyes and randomly selected three tiles. The result: "Still Repulsive Moment." I am not kidding. Maybe my magnetic poetry kit knows something I don't. I replaced the tiles.

Next option...
I recently read a horrible little book entitled Running With Scissors in which several of the characters readily engage in "Bible dipping," or asking God a question, opening a Bible, and pointing blindly to a phrase in which God apparently responds. Finding this too sacrilegious for my own tastes, I reached instead for the Southern Living magazine conveniently within reach on my desk and performed the same task. "Oh Southern Living Magazine, what should I name my blog?" Response: "Smart Watering FAQs." I don't think so.

Then the final brainstorm hits -- "Nothing Better to Do." Then it occurs to me that the dishes are not done, my study is piled up in the wreckage of a re-org project, and I have a half-finished novel just a click away on the computer. There are plenty of other better things I could be doing. Thus is life... and thus is a title born.