I don't usually go too personal in my blogs, but I'm stepping out today. I really feel like God has been waving some flags around me the past six months or so, waiting for me to take notice. Some flags have been tiny and recent. But they're adding up to SOMETHING...
1) Around the vicinity of the big 4-0 I realized I wanted to be more authentic and bold in my life, more compassionate, impulsive, loving, expressive. Stop editing myself when I truly suspect the Spirit is moving.
2) In my teaching, I've felt a need to get away from my compulsion to map everything out just-so. The word coming to mind often is "organic." I've also felt a need to bring missions into the spotlight in my world lit class. These two themes, with roots in the 07-08 school year, have been compounding even in the last 24 hours.
3) I really feel a desperate need to see God's hand more clearly and concretely. I've been in several situations lately where I've heard people speak with great faith about God "moving" - and the thing is, deep in my heart I totally believe them, but my brain nags at me - Are we just putting God's name on top of good fortune, coincidence, wishful thinking? I really want to SEE. Even in the last 24 hours, I've encountered two stories of miraculous revelations and confirmations of God's will in the mission field. Why don't I see those from my house?
4) I get suspicious when people say that God spoke to them. But back in December, I remember very clearly a moment when I thought God said, "I've been girding you up for this." Now, I don't really want to tell that whole story, but I do keep wondering...
So, is there a theme going on here or what? Comments and prayers welcome.
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summer, hot and beautiful
In between naps and meals, I like to snuggle my 9 year old, laugh with my husband, and ride with the top down.
Van Gogh detail
summer, hot and beautiful
Caryn Crabb Kirk
In between naps and meals, I like to snuggle my 9 year old, laugh with my husband, and ride with the top down.
Favorite Bloggers
Great Books
- The Once and Future King
- To Kill a Mockingbird
- Mere Christianity
- A Tale of Two Cities
- Blue Like Jazz
- Good Poems, ed. Garrison Keillor
- Cold Sassy Tree
- The Life of Pi
- Fahrenheit 451
- A Prayer for Owen Meany
Good Books
- A Thousand Splendid Suns
- The Thirteenth Tale
- Bel Canto
- Harry Potter I,II,III,IV,V,VI,VII
- From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler
- The Time Traveler's Wife
- Freaky Friday
- Eats, Shoots and Leaves
- The Other Boleyn Girl
- Saving Fish From Drowning
Favorite Songs
- Drops of Jupiter, Train
- Solsbury Hill, Peter Gabriel
- Play That Funky Music, Wild Cherry
- Carolina in My Mind, James Taylor
- Celebrate Me Home, Kenny Loggins
- You Make My Dreams Come True, Hall and Oates
- When October Goes, Barry Manilow
Favorite Paintings
- Destiny, John William Waterhouse
- Ecstasy, Maxfield Parrish
- Monk by the Sea, Caspar David Friedrich
- Flaming June, Frederick Lord Leighton
- Melancholy, Edgar Degas
- The Church at Au Vers, Van Gogh
- Night Cafe, Van Gogh
- Creation, Michaelangelo
1 comment:
Similar midlife thoughts going on here, too - and I suspect through all of us hitting this age milestone. For me, I don't need the concrete, but I do want to make sure I'm on the right trail. If it's a rut, make sure it's the right rut. My word that pops up is "intentional", wanting to be on the proactive instead of reactive side of things.
Trust those moments when you feel God speak. You know that already :) - there's the voice that you know, "I wouldn't have thought that". And it's something encouraging and difficult at the same time usually, right? Even if it's spaced out by years, it's something to gain comfort from going forward, I think.
I'm up way to early to be helpful :)
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