Tantrum 101

I have two college degrees, more than 12 years teaching experience, a decent IQ, and a lot of self confidence, most of the time... but nothing, NOTHING, prepares you to deal with 6-year-old temper tantrums. Today, I tried to ride the tide. Last time the temper tempest kicked in, I promised myself I would never again try to physically restrain her or heap punishment after punishment for each ingredient of the tantrum, but GET HER TO HER ROOM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE until she had morphed back into Dr. Jeckyl. Today, however, the carpet cleaning lady was upstairs. So we were stuck. I tried to turn the living room chair into time out headquarters. Then, I made the mistake of telling her she could not get up from the chair until I said OK - on the penalty of a spanking. Two minutes later, she looked me in the eye and got up. Uh-oh. Now I was committed to a spanking. I took her by the hand and headed back to the chair, explaining the impending consequence. When she realized I was serious about the spanking, she fought back within an inch of her life, I let go, and she careened into the TV stand. Reminder: No physical restraints, EVER! So, we tried time out in the bathroom. Didn't stick. Time out in Daddy's study. Better. Screaming, stomping, screaming, stomping. When she was calm, we sat together on the couch and I outlined the consequences of her behavior (no Bee Movie, no TV, one week). Then she disappeared into the kitchen. This was the first moment of silence in 45 minutes. She was making me a card. This is what it said (do your best with the spelling):

I am sorry. My hort is rilly hord.
It is very supre coild and gray in our backyard.
I hope you frgive me for all the bad things I've dun.
How much love did I have
The ancr is nun.
I love you. Love, Harper. To mom.

Like I said, NOTHING prepares you for days like this.

When October Goes

It always makes me sad when October slips by. It's my favorite month of the year, and the only consolation in its passing is that December is my 2nd favorite and November my 3rd favorite. I love the fall. Everything about it. And... now this is a big secret, so don't tell anyone... I really love the fall in Seattle.

I used to think East Coast autumns were the ideal, and those crisp blue-sky red-leaf days when you can open the windows rather than crank the AC or the heater are still at the top of my list. But Seattle's seasonal gray has grown on me. The leaves are still beautiful, and since there are more and taller evergreens, the background of green to the orange, brown, red and fire yellow foilage is spectacular. In the PNW, you get a shade of gold that is brighter and denser than anything I've ever seen further east or south... especially on those wonderful fall Sundays when we take the annual drive to Leavenworth, Washington. Leavenworth, situated in the mountains about two hours from Seattle, is a faux Bavarian town with all the German trappings you could ever hope for in this Octoberfest month. This year, we made the trip in September instead, with Jay's folks Jim and Linda in tow. But back to October.

We get a lot of rain in the fall out here, and gray skies blanket the month. I've grown to like it, actually. It finally pushed me over the edge of my coffee phobia. I have graduated into a Starbucks regular. It started when we first moved here and Jay would foist one extra-sweet, high-fat latte upon me each holiday season. About two years ago, I realized I looked forward to my annual hazelnut breve. Then I got sucked into the eggnog latte. And then the pumkin spice. Last year, when the holidays were over and the eggnog gone, I could not let go of my new cold-weather friend, so I switched to the sugar-free cinnamon dolce latte. Yesterday, I practically danced through the gray, crisp-leafed afternoon with my delightful cup of sugar-free gingerbread java. So far, I can't abide coffee sans milk, but maybe that's on the way too. In another 10 years perhaps.

October is also Halloween, which is not my favorite holiday by any stretch, but I can't help the nostalgic reaction to its sights and smells. I love to see kids dressed in costumed flitting about a moonlit street in small packs. Last week at church, I had to fetch some supplies from a cabinet and got a whiff of candy -- just a plain old bucket of random wrapped candy -- and the aroma just threw me back to childhood. October smells like fresh innocence. Its flavor is reassuring, cozy pumpkin spice. It's an explosion of my favorite colors: green and blue with splashes of fire and comfort. And as it turns out, I love it even with a background of gray.